[Spoilers] Bleach Shipping Rant

Ichigo and Rukia should have ended up together.

I know that’s not what happened. But it’s what should have happened.

The most important reason as to why they should have ended up together is that Rukia is a much better character and than Orihime. The black haired queen has a naturally masculine and disagreeable personality, but a personable and emotional side to complement it, while Orihime is just a ditzy high schooler with huge tits. In terms of selective breeding, Rukia is elite human capital™ while Orihime is a PMC ZOGdrone who would be working with spreadsheets in a human resources department if she wasn’t a magic girl.

Rukia also has much better chemistry with Ichigo: all of the most enjoyable moments on screen involved the two arguing with each other or communicating, and it’s sad that Kubo did not abuse this. Instead, Kubo decides to imprison her in the first arc, and she gets little screen time after that. And don’t give me that “they’re just friends” slop, she slept in his closet. Did they ever masturbate at the same time when they were sleeping together in the same room?

Just want to know, Kubo.

yes, that happened

On the other hand Ichigo and Orihime’s interactions only revolve around two running gags: orihime signaling she likes Ichigo, and Ichigo not realizing it; or Ichigo does something unintentionally assholish and Orihime deals with it. Pretty dreadful.

Of course, what is an article of mine without statistics? It turns out that there are 721 Ichigo x Rukia love fanfictions vs 260 Ichigo x Orihime romance fanfictions (as of 22 of Feb 2024) — almost 3 times as many! What can I say. Democracy wins. Yarvin loses.

The last thing I want to say is this:

KUBO IS A BIG BLACK NIGGER